Sakura: Epilogue

Yes, I said epilogue. A friend (or friends) have convinced me of something: that I need to move on, even as friends. It was great, I don't regret the time before things blew up, but I've had enough. I cannot go on like this, and I shouldn't have to. Talking to her does no good (in fact it makes things worse). So, I will either be waiting a long time (before I re-establish contact) or I will be waiting on her to make contact...or I will just move on with my life (which is essentially the latter).

I believe I will go with the latter. If/when she is ready, she will come to me and we'll try to fix things. As things stand, things will only get worse for me.

So, what have I done? I have channel-ignored her (ignored her in the chatroom's channel only - she can still PM me), I have removed her from AIM, I have removed her from Friendster. The idea here is that the less I see of her, the better. I also just erased my "Sakura" bookmarks folder. What haven't I done? I have kept all the videos she's sent me, and I haven't erased her address (physical, not email) from my computer. That's about it.

This way, I am reminded of her as little as possible, and it will make moving on easier. The things I did not remove I rarely (if ever) see anyway, so it won't matter too much. There are a few things that will still remind me of her (speaking of which...I'm erasing her phone # from my phone and putting it with her address) such as Full Moon wo Sagashite and Heroes, but I will either have to avoid them or live with it.

I think I will be much happier in the long run this way. I can stay in the chatroom, she gets all the time she needs without any drama whatsoever. I'm not saying it's been easy, but I think things will be easier now that I've made this move.

In closing, I have many people to thank...many who have supported me through the whole ordeal (sorry if I miss you): Richard, Austin, Alex, Nv2U (another Alex), Sec, John. I thank you all very much. You all have been a major help throughout the whole thing.

I have a couple last things to say in relation to her specifically (warning: mushy content). I have thoroughly enjoyed the time we spent together...I really felt like I had a friend in her (at least at the time). I will treasure it and enjoy the memory always. And lastly, to Sakura (should she be reading this / for sentimental value): I am sorry for everything, I want you to know that. You meant a lot to me, and I hope I did to you. Thank you for all the good times, and I apologize for all the bad ones. I hope to see you again some day. If not, I will surely see you in Heaven one day. Until that time, さよなら、妹ちゃん。