Log
(5:34:32 PM) Sakura: does she still want to talk to me?
(5:35:07 PM) Eric: it might help....but you might not like what she has to say either :S
(5:35:30 PM) Sakura: She's going to scold at me isn't she???
(5:35:52 PM) Eric: basically. something along the lines of "Quit hurting my son. Either be his friend or don't" :S
(5:36:16 PM) Eric: And honestly, I do wish we could still be friends....even if it means we're just kinda distant friends, but heh
(5:37:43 PM) Sakura: my god... I don't really want to get into an arguement with your mom...
(5:38:28 PM) Sakura: she hates me doesn't she?
(5:38:32 PM) Eric: well, you see....i was crying really hard....she heard me, and stuff and yeah. i can go get her or i can leave her be
(5:38:38 PM) Eric: hate? not really
(5:38:48 PM) Eric: until i cried like that they didnt even thank that badly of you
(5:39:19 PM) Sakura: God I feel terrible...
(5:39:38 PM) Sakura: it's not like you're the only one hurting.... but I just had to do it....
(5:39:42 PM) Sakura: you understand that right?
(5:39:53 PM) Eric: to an extent, yes
(5:40:18 PM) Eric: i just dont understand why we cant just tone it way down....well maybe i kinda do, but still...is it possible to just.....tone it way down rather than just completely stop? :S
(5:40:52 PM) Eric: This is hurting the both of us wayyyyyy more than it should be
(5:41:52 PM) Sakura: I'm really really sorry but I just have to be completely free of you....
(5:42:08 PM) Sakura: and vice versa...
(5:42:27 PM) Sakura: I want you to be able to let go of me and doing that is not going to help at all
(5:43:18 PM) Eric: i mean honestly....even a few weeks ago....if another girl came along, i would ask her out and stuff....its just that nobody else has come along :S
(5:44:23 PM) Sakura: no... I'm really sorry...
(5:45:39 PM) Eric: why? because you know if we have any contact it'll grow stronger and stronger sooner or later....like the bond just pulls us together?
(5:46:02 PM) Sakura: yes
(5:46:27 PM) Sakura: and at the moment... I don't want that....
(5:46:35 PM) Sakura: I told you I have some growing up to do...
(5:47:10 PM) Eric: yeah. so....we imprinted on each other......its like we cant stay away from each other XD
(5:47:34 PM) Eric: i do think it hurts me a LOT more than it hurts you though, doesn'
(5:47:38 PM) Eric: 't it?
(5:47:50 PM) Sakura: yes.... because you're the one who imprinted on me
(5:48:47 PM) Eric: yeah. so....do you have ANY suggestions for getting through this?
(5:49:48 PM) Sakura: I really don't... I'm just trying to be normal though I have a feeling that I'm about to break down any moment now
(5:50:58 PM) Eric: yeah. I've already broken down pretty much.
(5:51:22 PM) Sakura: you've already been down... the only way to go is up...
(5:51:30 PM) Sakura: i still have to hit rock bottom...
(5:52:20 PM) Eric: yeah. i hope you get through it as quickly as possible. i'll still be here if you need me or anything - as far as I'm concerned, we're still friends...just kind of on-hold friends eh?
(5:52:34 PM) Sakura: something like that...
(5:52:36 PM) Sakura: ^^
(5:52:53 PM) Sakura: I'm more worried about you since you have the harder side....
(5:52:58 PM) Eric: would it....be possible for you to promise me that this isn't the end?
(5:53:09 PM) Sakura: it's not...
(5:53:17 PM) Sakura: we'll meet again remember???
(5:53:22 PM) Sakura: it's impossible for us not to...
(5:53:38 PM) Eric: yeah. you'll email me eventually or something :S
(5:54:11 PM) Eric: and yeah, i do have the harder side. i want to go into detail, but i dont want to make you feel worse
(5:54:44 PM) Sakura: if you think it will help then I'm all ears
(5:55:31 PM) Eric: well...i mean, i was crying really hard earlier....I mean, I would say it's probably the worst emotional pain I've ever been through
(5:56:45 PM) Eric: it's....just terrible....we were so close, you were my best friend.....and now i have no idea who im gonna talk to about some of that stuff and all
(5:57:06 PM) Sakura: you'll find someone ^^
(5:57:13 PM) Sakura: there are millions of people in the world...
(5:57:22 PM) Sakura: it can't only be me that you can talk to..
(5:58:06 PM) Eric: yeah. kind words. i need those right now.
(5:59:03 PM) Eric: chris is over. he's been helping too. when I'm like I am right this second it's not too bad....but I was talking to John about it and I just completely broke down....it just overwhelmed me
(5:59:39 PM) Sakura: see there are people everywhere who will help you....
(5:59:42 PM) Eric: it almost feels like.....a part of me that i've relied on is dying
(6:00:14 PM) Sakura: just think of it as going to sleep rather than dying
(6:00:47 PM) Eric: could you......describe your pain perhaps? it may sound sadisitc, but it's like it helps to know that this hurts you too....usually
(6:01:12 PM) Sakura: not necessarily pain....
(6:01:24 PM) Sakura: it's more like there's something missing and I keep on looking for it...
(6:01:32 PM) Sakura: until I remind myself that it's you...
(6:01:57 PM) Eric: but you WANTED this (sorry, random...erm... "wtf?!" moment)
(6:02:15 PM) Eric: or wait......no, its not that you wanted it at all is it?
(6:02:22 PM) Eric: its that......there was just no other choice
(6:02:23 PM) Sakura: I know... Doesn't mean I wasn't going to be hurt as well
(6:02:29 PM) Sakura: yes
(6:04:03 PM) Eric: yeah. so...for what it;s worth.........i love you
(6:04:19 PM) Sakura: I love you too ^^ (check my status :P )
(6:04:30 PM) Eric: cant see your status....youre not on my list :S
(6:04:59 PM) Sakura: I'm sorry that I hurt you... i hope that when we meet again in the future we can face each other with a smile on our faces... I love you don't ever forget that ^^
(6:05:33 PM) Eric: wow sakura....im crying a bit.....but.....these are happy tears
(6:06:01 PM) Eric: so even when we're not talking for months or whatever....we'll still love each other actually?
(6:06:12 PM) Sakura: yup...
(6:06:16 PM) Sakura: like Bella and Jacob ne???
(6:06:24 PM) Eric: like Bella and Jacob.
(6:06:42 PM) Sakura: though I'm still not sure whether I love you the way did to me... but I'll find out ^^
(6:06:48 PM) Eric: so i guess the love goes along with the bond.....cant break either
(6:07:00 PM) Eric: ok, for the record....i NEVER LOVED you as more than a friend
(6:07:06 PM) Eric: i LIKED you as more than a friend ;)
(6:07:11 PM) Sakura: you KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!
(6:07:14 PM) Sakura: :P
(6:07:14 PM) ***Eric is saving up the L-Bomb :P
(6:07:33 PM) Eric: who knows....maybe youll be the one to get the L-Bomb XD
(6:07:46 PM) Sakura: the what bomb???
(6:07:48 PM) Eric: but yeah, so i guess the love goes along with the bond.....cant break either
(6:07:56 PM) Sakura: exactly
(6:07:59 PM) Eric: L-Bomb = telling a girl I love her romantically for the first time
(6:08:06 PM) Sakura: ah...
(6:08:08 PM) Eric: AND actually feeling it
(6:08:37 PM) Eric: i dont use the L-word lightly. even when i use it on you, it points to a very powerful emotion....non-romantic, but still
(6:08:43 PM) Eric: the romantic part comes with the liking
(6:09:10 PM) Sakura: well it's not a word that's to thrown around carelessly in the first place ^^
(6:09:15 PM) Sakura: to be*
(6:09:16 PM) Eric: exactly.
(6:09:31 PM) Sakura: I don't throw it around carelessly either :P
(6:09:32 PM) Eric: but it applies to us......because, it just does......that's the way we feel, right?
(6:09:33 PM) Sakura: just FYI
(6:09:36 PM) Sakura: yup
(6:10:11 PM) Eric: yeah. it will help knowing that you actually do love me and are able to admit it. :) i assume youve never told another non-related guy before you loved him....in ANY way?
(6:10:33 PM) Sakura: unless you count Wuv/luv then no...
(6:10:56 PM) Eric: i meant whatever word points to that incredibly powerful emotion
(6:11:00 PM) Eric: not the little joking stuff :P
(6:11:04 PM) Sakura: then no
(6:11:15 PM) Eric: ahhh i see.
(6:11:32 PM) Eric: maybe we are soulmates.....and youre just not ready for that yet XD sounds logical to me :P
(6:11:41 PM) Eric: hell, _I_ am probably not ready for it
(6:11:55 PM) Sakura: yup... so we both have some growing up and thinking to do...
(6:12:31 PM) Eric: yep. so ok, one of my last questions....maybe THE last, i dunno........how likely do you think it is that we're soulmates? Just curious here
(6:13:09 PM) Sakura: quite likely.... around 30 - 40 % ???
(6:13:36 PM) Sakura: you?
(6:13:54 PM) Eric: I....honestly never put numbers to it....because I didn't want to get my hopes up ;P
(6:14:01 PM) Eric: but id probably say around the same
(6:14:06 PM) Sakura: ^^
(6:14:18 PM) Eric: so if thats true.....then damn, its pretty likely that we'll be together at some point XD
(6:14:33 PM) Sakura: don't scare me now... I'm not ready for that...
(6:14:54 PM) Eric: did I say be together? I meant be together as in exist in the same room *shifty eyes*
(6:15:03 PM) Sakura: lol...
(6:15:21 PM) Sakura: please do tell your mom that I'm really sorry for what I did and I hope that she can forgive what i did to you...
(6:15:39 PM) Eric: ok
(6:15:58 PM) Sakura: cause you never know next time we meet might be there in Texas and she'll just start screaming bloody murder and pull a gun and shoot me....
(6:16:06 PM) Sakura: I'm not ready to die yet
(6:16:07 PM) Eric: LOL
(6:16:32 PM) Eric: i assume the next time we meet will be you emailing me hopefully no more than 2-3 months from now XD
(6:16:44 PM) Sakura: we'll see ^^
(6:16:48 PM) Eric: i know. ;P
(6:17:30 PM) Eric: so....would you mind too terribly if i emailed you random questions / venting during the....erm grieving process or....would you rather just cut it out completely?
(6:18:00 PM) Sakura: you can email but don't expect a reply....
(6:18:27 PM) Sakura: you see it doesn't really help the cause... IMO
(6:18:39 PM) Eric: yeah. that was basically my question :P
(6:18:53 PM) Eric: this still seems nuts to me, you realize this right?
(6:18:58 PM) Sakura: yes
(6:19:21 PM) Eric: its weird....sometimes i completly understand....and other times it makes no sense
(6:20:09 PM) Eric: i guess ill have to find my own way to describe it in my head. but yeah, mom was going on about how i cant let you do this to me and how no girl is worth this and all....and im just like..............well, this is only a temporary thing....who's to say she's not worth it? :S
(6:20:43 PM) Eric: that was back when i was going completely nuts....see, she gave me a pill....half a tranquilizer.....and that probably sent me lower than i needed to go
(6:20:55 PM) Sakura: :O
(6:21:43 PM) Eric: yeah. so i think part of my problem NOW is the freaking pill's fault
(6:21:51 PM) Eric: see if i take those stupid things again -_-
(6:22:01 PM) Eric: it would work if i was in my really pissed mood.......but yeah
(6:22:05 PM) Sakura: it'll wear out....
(6:22:09 PM) Eric: yeah it will
(6:22:16 PM) Sakura: don't take anymore
(6:22:20 PM) Eric: oh....i meant to ask you......about your friends
(6:22:21 PM) Sakura: it might drive you crazy
(6:22:23 PM) Eric: jam and aubs
(6:22:33 PM) Eric: am i supposed to cut contact with them or not or what?
(6:22:39 PM) Sakura: your choice...
(6:22:47 PM) Sakura: I don't mind if you keep contact with them...
(6:23:04 PM) Sakura: it might or it might not help
(6:23:07 PM) Eric: yeah. and that would provide an easy medium for getting back together when the time comes XD
(6:23:15 PM) Eric: yeah. thats my thing - will it help or wont it?
(6:23:22 PM) Sakura: I don't know either...
(6:23:34 PM) Eric: i mean, i harbor no ill feelings toward jam whatsoever, even though she was basically against my side
(6:23:46 PM) Eric: course aubrey is always the more available anyway
(6:24:11 PM) Eric: i think.....it would be ok as long as we avoid the topic of you......which would be like impossible i think.....
(6:25:15 PM) Eric: because....it's driving me nuts....it's like i want to forget you (don't misunderstand - i NEVER EVER want to REALLY forget you...I mean as in not think about you constantly)......but I want to remember you too
(6:25:31 PM) Eric: I kinda wish you had sent me SOMETHING to remember you by XD
(6:25:42 PM) Sakura: you might get something for your birthday ^^
(6:25:46 PM) Eric: that's why ive kinda always wanted like a solid, permanent object from you :P
(6:25:53 PM) Sakura: I have to return the favor anyway.... XD
(6:26:17 PM) Sakura: of course that's unless your mom receives it and burns it before you get it
(6:26:37 PM) Eric: haha yeah. i honestly hope those years turn into months instead, but well :S
(6:27:12 PM) Eric: being in only minimal contact for years is an annoying thought at this point :S
(6:27:30 PM) Eric: then again, I have a feeling........you're not gonna stick to the plan really.......the plan will change, ne?
(6:27:42 PM) Sakura: I don't know...
(6:27:48 PM) Sakura: I honestly don't...
(6:27:55 PM) Sakura: maybe...
(6:28:06 PM) Eric: this is one time where id rather have an "I don't know" than a "no the plan wont change" XD
(6:28:28 PM) Eric: because the plan....is long and annoying.....and to me, theres like nowhere to go but up
(6:28:34 PM) Eric: so dont know > years
(6:28:35 PM) Eric: XD
(6:29:46 PM) Eric: but yeah. so....i guess the only thing that's left (and I'm sure I'll have more questions later - I guess they'll just go unanswered :S).....is how to say goodbye
[Disconnected]
(6:35:46 PM) Eric: test
(6:35:53 PM) Sakura: yes?
(6:36:04 PM) Eric: sorry....internet went nuts at the worst possible moment
(6:36:13 PM) Eric: lst thing i saw was "maybe...."
(6:36:19 PM) Eric: whats the last thing you saw?
(6:36:34 PM) Sakura: so dont know > years
(6:36:38 PM) Eric: XD
(6:37:14 PM) Eric: but yeah. so...i guess the only thing that's left (and I'm sure I'll have more questions later - I guess they'll just go unanswered :S)......is how to say goodbye
(6:37:40 PM) Sakura: it's just a see you later ^^
(6:37:58 PM) Eric: we say that like when we're gonna be gone for like a few hours XD
(6:38:34 PM) Sakura: few hours can turn into few days into few weeks into few months into few years just as easy
(6:38:55 PM) Eric: Oh, and I apologize if any of my friends try to talk to you - John or Elisabeth particularly....because yeah, I was really badly hurting and I just wanted someone to talk to you
(6:39:03 PM) Eric: and im gonna miss talking to you like crazy for a bit
(6:39:17 PM) Sakura: it's gonna be the same here ^^
(6:40:38 PM) Eric: yeah. just....remember that I'm ALWAYS here for you. if you need me, you call me. nothing has changed in that respect as far as i know. the love/bond/friendship can be reactivated or called upon at any time if the need arises eh?
(6:41:02 PM) Sakura: ^^
(6:41:18 PM) Eric: you feel the same way or no?
(6:41:34 PM) Sakura: same way
(6:42:04 PM) Eric: ok good. just wanna be completely on the same page.....well, as much as we can be anyway. man, i really wish this hadn't needed to happen.....sigh
(6:42:20 PM) Sakura: it'll get better.... I promise..
(6:43:03 PM) Eric: yeah. it will. i mean, the way i see it - the very root of the problem here is what....that youre too young? XD
(6:43:28 PM) Sakura: something like that
(6:43:54 PM) Eric: yeah lol. so....one little thing............do you have any tips for trying to read these books without thinking about you? :S
(6:44:12 PM) Sakura: don't think about me... I guess....
(6:44:28 PM) Eric: ROFL....topping the list of obvious advice......
(6:44:29 PM) Eric: XD
(6:44:58 PM) Eric: so....will you have any problems....like when you look at your cell phone charm, or the other things ive sent you....will it bother you at all.....will it make you think about me?
(6:45:27 PM) Sakura: oh believe me if it's not the charms then my iPod will do the trick...
(6:45:34 PM) Sakura: the iPOd and the songs in it....
(6:46:05 PM) Eric: yeah. i just....i just like to know that you're in about the same predicament that I am....makes me feel like.....like we're on the same page, like we feel the same way, etc
(6:46:39 PM) Sakura: ^^
(6:46:51 PM) Eric: and mom says "Eric, you can't let this consume your life"......does she not realize that it basically WILL for a couple days? :S
(6:47:07 PM) Eric: well, aubrey certainly isn't hurt -_-
(6:47:17 PM) Sakura: huh?
(6:47:26 PM) Eric: ok, so.....did your new friends know how close we were....like will they miss me at all?
(6:47:32 PM) Eric: oh, aubrey's yahoo status
(6:47:34 PM) Sakura: no....
(6:47:38 PM) Eric: ahh i see
(6:47:51 PM) Eric: THAT is one answer i dont especially like thats not that big of a deal :P
(6:48:09 PM) Eric: oh, and you still have that poem i wrote you too......that would probably make you cry :S
(6:48:34 PM) Sakura: lol... you really want me to breakdown and cry don't you???
(6:48:52 PM) Sakura: don't worry as soon as this conversation is over give me a few minutes and I will
(6:49:13 PM) Eric: lol....yes and no XD I don't ever want to you to be in pain....but, since I'm in pain....it's nice to know I have company I guess?
(6:49:25 PM) Sakura: misery loves company as they say
(6:49:30 PM) Eric: yeah
(6:49:45 PM) Eric: and lets face it, this wouldnt bother either of us at all if we didnt care very very deeply for each other :S
(6:49:55 PM) Sakura: ^^ exactly
(6:50:18 PM) Eric: but we're still gonna feel that way even when we're not talking right?
(6:51:10 PM) Sakura: yup....
(6:51:40 PM) Eric: and thats never going to end.......is it? I just realized that
(6:51:47 PM) Sakura: what is?
(6:51:58 PM) Eric: the caring, the loving, the bond
(6:52:37 PM) Sakura: yeah... I don't think it's going to end... even if we tried....
(6:52:42 PM) Sakura: one of us will still care
(6:52:53 PM) Eric: one? :O
(6:53:12 PM) Sakura: one will still care hence will pull the other one to care as well :P
(6:53:18 PM) Eric: ahh
(6:53:54 PM) Eric: so basically....what we've done here is create a bond that will last forever. that's something, Rai. and to my knowledge these things happen what....once in a lifetime?
(6:54:03 PM) Eric: not trying to make you feel bad, just pointing it out XD
(6:54:14 PM) Sakura: ^^
(6:54:22 PM) Eric: you agree then i assume?
(6:54:37 PM) Sakura: yup...
(6:55:08 PM) Eric: yeah. i know im gonna end up with more questions and such later.......i guess........theyll just go unanswered? :S
(6:55:42 PM) Sakura: I guess....
(6:55:51 PM) Sakura: I'm sorry
(6:56:15 PM) Eric: so basically, it's speak now or forever (well, for months or more) hold your peace XD
(6:56:29 PM) Sakura: yes XD
(6:57:01 PM) Eric: if you were the swearing type......would you swear to me that youve told me the complete truth today and nothing but it?
(6:57:25 PM) Eric: dont want you having buttered something up just to make me feel better ;P
(6:57:39 PM) Sakura: I swear ^^
(6:58:15 PM) Eric: alright then. and I as well....although if youve noticed this seems to be one sided....I guess because all my emotions are on my sleeve and I have to ask about your's :P
(6:58:33 PM) Sakura: :)
(6:59:03 PM) Eric: wow....a lot of firsts in our lives have happened with each other
(6:59:14 PM) Eric: and im sure some of them will be unique to us forever
(6:59:19 PM) Sakura: yup.... definitely
(7:00:00 PM) Eric: and thats comforting.....knowing that we share something that nobody else shares
(7:00:30 PM) Eric: its....a nice thought and all.....you know, like i said before i LOVE anything thats specific to us that you dont do with other people, or tell other people, etc :P
(7:00:37 PM) Eric: im kinda....possessive like that?
(7:00:44 PM) Eric: i dunno what the word is but you know what i mean
(7:00:47 PM) Sakura: ^^
(7:01:17 PM) Eric: oh oh oh....i was gonna say goodbye now, but something else just came up
(7:01:34 PM) Eric: IM, Skype, Friendster, etc....will you delete me from them or what?
(7:01:34 PM) Eric: XD
(7:02:24 PM) Sakura: you're block on skype though not deleted.... you're still on friendster and will stay there... I'm not sure on yahoo...
(7:02:50 PM) Eric: oh wow...you dont have to BLOCK me....you can just delete me....that's what I'm doing to you :P
(7:03:23 PM) Eric: but ill probably do it on friendster too tbh....otherwise every time you update something youll bump to the top of the list and stuff and yeah XD
(7:03:57 PM) Sakura: ah... then I'll do the same...
(7:04:08 PM) Eric: yeah, see...i dont want to know WHEN youre on....i dont want to see your name if i cant talk to you XD
(7:04:13 PM) Eric: lol you dont have to, its up to you :P
(7:04:22 PM) Sakura: I know but it's gonna help me as well ^^
(7:04:27 PM) Eric: ahh yeah
(7:05:00 PM) Sakura: ^^
(7:05:25 PM) Eric: anything else I can do to help you? Since you've been so awesome about answering every little insignificant questions of mine, even down to your bra size? XD
(7:05:51 PM) Eric: (which btw, i wont tell anyone what it IS.....but i might tell people that i KNOW what it is....unless you dont want me to :P)
(7:05:55 PM) Sakura: no I'm fine ^^ you're hurting more than I am....
(7:06:13 PM) Sakura: hahaha... I don't mind
(7:06:21 PM) Eric: lol ok
(7:06:53 PM) Eric: i intend to pretty much paste these logs in my blog and give the link to people. if you dont want me to, say so :P
(7:07:15 PM) Sakura: no I might do the same for Aubrey and Jam...
(7:07:22 PM) Sakura: so it's fine
(7:07:24 PM) Eric: oh ok, yeah
(7:07:32 PM) Eric: oh....one confession to make
(7:07:44 PM) Eric: i do paste a lot of your logs to people sometimes
(7:07:56 PM) Eric: if theres anything i think you wouldnt want known though, i censor it
(7:08:04 PM) Sakura: ^^
(7:08:50 PM) Eric: damn it, i hate to say goodbye because I know once I do I won't see you for the longest time :(
(7:09:04 PM) Sakura: we have to at one point....
(7:09:18 PM) Sakura: are you feeling the least bit better??
(7:09:31 PM) Eric: oh, I'm not feeling too bad...AT THE MOMENT
(7:09:52 PM) Eric: no clue how I'll feel once it's done though.....could be anywhere from shittier than ever to pretty normal :S
(7:10:05 PM) Sakura: I'm hoping for the latter
(7:10:35 PM) Eric: Me too. I mean, we've been focusing on my pain....but I don't like your's either you know...the bond transfers pain too I think :P
(7:10:39 PM) Eric: and thoughts occasionally XD
(7:10:47 PM) Sakura: lol
(7:11:07 PM) Eric: I mean honestly....if I were in no pain whatsoever....would this even bother you?
(7:11:22 PM) Sakura: it would...
(7:11:28 PM) Eric: NEARLY as bad?
(7:11:44 PM) Sakura: I'm not sure....
(7:12:01 PM) Eric: oh I see
(7:12:11 PM) Sakura: you won't be hurting but I would still feel that missing piece in my heart....
(7:12:24 PM) Eric: awwwwww that's so sweet ^^
(7:12:52 PM) Eric: just....always remember.....you can pick that piece up and put it back whenever you want
(7:13:23 PM) Sakura: that piece was given to you....
(7:13:27 PM) Sakura: it's not on the floor...
(7:13:47 PM) Eric: ...
(7:13:57 PM) Eric: I....have no words to describe how sweet and touching that is
(7:14:36 PM) Eric: especially coming from you, knowing you dont like to talk about this stuff
(7:14:42 PM) Sakura: :)
(7:15:02 PM) Eric: and of course, youll guard the piece of my heart that you possess as well i assume? ;P
(7:15:11 PM) Sakura: with my life...
(7:15:39 PM) Eric: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
(7:16:00 PM) Eric: my only wish i suppose would be that you could be sweet like that more often :)
(7:16:14 PM) Sakura: don't bet on it....
(7:16:32 PM) Sakura: it's hard for me to do these things...
(7:17:00 PM) Eric: yeah i know. which kind of begs the question....why are you doing it now? I mean, I love it...I think it's helping a lot....but why? :P
(7:17:13 PM) Sakura: dunno... it just came out....
(7:17:35 PM) Eric: wow. i think that soulmate chance just increased a bit XD
(7:17:48 PM) Sakura: lol
(7:18:09 PM) Eric: no, it's really odd....because as sweet as I can be....I don't feel comes even close to what you just sad
(7:18:11 PM) Eric: said*
(7:18:24 PM) Sakura: lol
(7:18:43 PM) Sakura: I guess my body knows when the right time to say those kind of words is
(7:18:59 PM) Eric: There's a Twilight reference in there with the pieces of hearts.....but I don't recall it
(7:19:20 PM) Sakura: it's in the back of my iPod... but here's the whole qoute
(7:19:59 PM) Sakura: I'll be back so soon, you won't have time to miss me.... Look after my heart, I've left it with you....
(7:20:09 PM) Eric: ahh yes that's the one
(7:20:16 PM) Sakura: edward left that note to Bella...
(7:20:23 PM) Sakura: but it applies to us as well I guess
(7:20:24 PM) Eric: I think it's very very fitting in this case.
(7:20:59 PM) Eric: ok, i think the time has come.....unfortunately
(7:21:10 PM) Eric: for me to make my semi-long goodbye speech
(7:21:18 PM) Sakura: not yet... but I've left a pice of mine with you for when we meet again...
(7:21:23 PM) Sakura: piece*
(7:21:29 PM) Eric: hmm?
(7:21:38 PM) Eric: what was that?
(7:21:52 PM) Sakura: nothing... I misinterpreted something... it's fine ^^
(7:21:55 PM) Eric: lol ok
(7:23:59 PM) Sakura: are you crying again?
(7:24:18 PM) Eric: a bit....but all happy tears :P
(7:24:35 PM) Sakura: sorry... I just had this vision of you crying...
(7:24:40 PM) Eric: lol it's fine
(7:25:00 PM) Eric: but yeah, when you were being sweet just now....you were being honest/serious....not just trying to make me feel better, right? XD
(7:25:08 PM) Sakura: yup...
(7:25:39 PM) Eric: ok. good. sorry.....mxiia was being like "because she feels sorry or because she means it?" and im like, well....im sure she means it, but ill ask anyway
(7:25:52 PM) Sakura: ah
(7:26:40 PM) Eric: So yeah....let's start with....I love you and you will always have a place in my heart. I enjoyed all our times together more than you can know, and am very saddened that it is ending. But, I know that our bond is strong and that we will meet again and the relationship will be restored. In the meantime, I wish nothing but happiness for you. Be happy. Look after that heart piece Rai....I'm counting on you. Until next time. And....I love you...more than you can know
(7:28:50 PM) Sakura: same here... I want you to be happy... after today, I hope that you won't cry anymore... I've left that a piece of my heart with you as well... keep it until we meet again... I'll take care of yours if you will take care of mine... I love you too...
(7:29:43 PM) Eric: I will guard it with my life...and try my best not to cry unless it's HAPPY tears or a movie/anime/etc ^^ *huggle snuggle*
(7:29:56 PM) Sakura: with my life...
(7:30:02 PM) ***Sakura huggles Eric
(5:35:07 PM) Eric: it might help....but you might not like what she has to say either :S
(5:35:30 PM) Sakura: She's going to scold at me isn't she???
(5:35:52 PM) Eric: basically. something along the lines of "Quit hurting my son. Either be his friend or don't" :S
(5:36:16 PM) Eric: And honestly, I do wish we could still be friends....even if it means we're just kinda distant friends, but heh
(5:37:43 PM) Sakura: my god... I don't really want to get into an arguement with your mom...
(5:38:28 PM) Sakura: she hates me doesn't she?
(5:38:32 PM) Eric: well, you see....i was crying really hard....she heard me, and stuff and yeah. i can go get her or i can leave her be
(5:38:38 PM) Eric: hate? not really
(5:38:48 PM) Eric: until i cried like that they didnt even thank that badly of you
(5:39:19 PM) Sakura: God I feel terrible...
(5:39:38 PM) Sakura: it's not like you're the only one hurting.... but I just had to do it....
(5:39:42 PM) Sakura: you understand that right?
(5:39:53 PM) Eric: to an extent, yes
(5:40:18 PM) Eric: i just dont understand why we cant just tone it way down....well maybe i kinda do, but still...is it possible to just.....tone it way down rather than just completely stop? :S
(5:40:52 PM) Eric: This is hurting the both of us wayyyyyy more than it should be
(5:41:52 PM) Sakura: I'm really really sorry but I just have to be completely free of you....
(5:42:08 PM) Sakura: and vice versa...
(5:42:27 PM) Sakura: I want you to be able to let go of me and doing that is not going to help at all
(5:43:18 PM) Eric: i mean honestly....even a few weeks ago....if another girl came along, i would ask her out and stuff....its just that nobody else has come along :S
(5:44:23 PM) Sakura: no... I'm really sorry...
(5:45:39 PM) Eric: why? because you know if we have any contact it'll grow stronger and stronger sooner or later....like the bond just pulls us together?
(5:46:02 PM) Sakura: yes
(5:46:27 PM) Sakura: and at the moment... I don't want that....
(5:46:35 PM) Sakura: I told you I have some growing up to do...
(5:47:10 PM) Eric: yeah. so....we imprinted on each other......its like we cant stay away from each other XD
(5:47:34 PM) Eric: i do think it hurts me a LOT more than it hurts you though, doesn'
(5:47:38 PM) Eric: 't it?
(5:47:50 PM) Sakura: yes.... because you're the one who imprinted on me
(5:48:47 PM) Eric: yeah. so....do you have ANY suggestions for getting through this?
(5:49:48 PM) Sakura: I really don't... I'm just trying to be normal though I have a feeling that I'm about to break down any moment now
(5:50:58 PM) Eric: yeah. I've already broken down pretty much.
(5:51:22 PM) Sakura: you've already been down... the only way to go is up...
(5:51:30 PM) Sakura: i still have to hit rock bottom...
(5:52:20 PM) Eric: yeah. i hope you get through it as quickly as possible. i'll still be here if you need me or anything - as far as I'm concerned, we're still friends...just kind of on-hold friends eh?
(5:52:34 PM) Sakura: something like that...
(5:52:36 PM) Sakura: ^^
(5:52:53 PM) Sakura: I'm more worried about you since you have the harder side....
(5:52:58 PM) Eric: would it....be possible for you to promise me that this isn't the end?
(5:53:09 PM) Sakura: it's not...
(5:53:17 PM) Sakura: we'll meet again remember???
(5:53:22 PM) Sakura: it's impossible for us not to...
(5:53:38 PM) Eric: yeah. you'll email me eventually or something :S
(5:54:11 PM) Eric: and yeah, i do have the harder side. i want to go into detail, but i dont want to make you feel worse
(5:54:44 PM) Sakura: if you think it will help then I'm all ears
(5:55:31 PM) Eric: well...i mean, i was crying really hard earlier....I mean, I would say it's probably the worst emotional pain I've ever been through
(5:56:45 PM) Eric: it's....just terrible....we were so close, you were my best friend.....and now i have no idea who im gonna talk to about some of that stuff and all
(5:57:06 PM) Sakura: you'll find someone ^^
(5:57:13 PM) Sakura: there are millions of people in the world...
(5:57:22 PM) Sakura: it can't only be me that you can talk to..
(5:58:06 PM) Eric: yeah. kind words. i need those right now.
(5:59:03 PM) Eric: chris is over. he's been helping too. when I'm like I am right this second it's not too bad....but I was talking to John about it and I just completely broke down....it just overwhelmed me
(5:59:39 PM) Sakura: see there are people everywhere who will help you....
(5:59:42 PM) Eric: it almost feels like.....a part of me that i've relied on is dying
(6:00:14 PM) Sakura: just think of it as going to sleep rather than dying
(6:00:47 PM) Eric: could you......describe your pain perhaps? it may sound sadisitc, but it's like it helps to know that this hurts you too....usually
(6:01:12 PM) Sakura: not necessarily pain....
(6:01:24 PM) Sakura: it's more like there's something missing and I keep on looking for it...
(6:01:32 PM) Sakura: until I remind myself that it's you...
(6:01:57 PM) Eric: but you WANTED this (sorry, random...erm... "wtf?!" moment)
(6:02:15 PM) Eric: or wait......no, its not that you wanted it at all is it?
(6:02:22 PM) Eric: its that......there was just no other choice
(6:02:23 PM) Sakura: I know... Doesn't mean I wasn't going to be hurt as well
(6:02:29 PM) Sakura: yes
(6:04:03 PM) Eric: yeah. so...for what it;s worth.........i love you
(6:04:19 PM) Sakura: I love you too ^^ (check my status :P )
(6:04:30 PM) Eric: cant see your status....youre not on my list :S
(6:04:59 PM) Sakura: I'm sorry that I hurt you... i hope that when we meet again in the future we can face each other with a smile on our faces... I love you don't ever forget that ^^
(6:05:33 PM) Eric: wow sakura....im crying a bit.....but.....these are happy tears
(6:06:01 PM) Eric: so even when we're not talking for months or whatever....we'll still love each other actually?
(6:06:12 PM) Sakura: yup...
(6:06:16 PM) Sakura: like Bella and Jacob ne???
(6:06:24 PM) Eric: like Bella and Jacob.
(6:06:42 PM) Sakura: though I'm still not sure whether I love you the way did to me... but I'll find out ^^
(6:06:48 PM) Eric: so i guess the love goes along with the bond.....cant break either
(6:07:00 PM) Eric: ok, for the record....i NEVER LOVED you as more than a friend
(6:07:06 PM) Eric: i LIKED you as more than a friend ;)
(6:07:11 PM) Sakura: you KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!
(6:07:14 PM) Sakura: :P
(6:07:14 PM) ***Eric is saving up the L-Bomb :P
(6:07:33 PM) Eric: who knows....maybe youll be the one to get the L-Bomb XD
(6:07:46 PM) Sakura: the what bomb???
(6:07:48 PM) Eric: but yeah, so i guess the love goes along with the bond.....cant break either
(6:07:56 PM) Sakura: exactly
(6:07:59 PM) Eric: L-Bomb = telling a girl I love her romantically for the first time
(6:08:06 PM) Sakura: ah...
(6:08:08 PM) Eric: AND actually feeling it
(6:08:37 PM) Eric: i dont use the L-word lightly. even when i use it on you, it points to a very powerful emotion....non-romantic, but still
(6:08:43 PM) Eric: the romantic part comes with the liking
(6:09:10 PM) Sakura: well it's not a word that's to thrown around carelessly in the first place ^^
(6:09:15 PM) Sakura: to be*
(6:09:16 PM) Eric: exactly.
(6:09:31 PM) Sakura: I don't throw it around carelessly either :P
(6:09:32 PM) Eric: but it applies to us......because, it just does......that's the way we feel, right?
(6:09:33 PM) Sakura: just FYI
(6:09:36 PM) Sakura: yup
(6:10:11 PM) Eric: yeah. it will help knowing that you actually do love me and are able to admit it. :) i assume youve never told another non-related guy before you loved him....in ANY way?
(6:10:33 PM) Sakura: unless you count Wuv/luv then no...
(6:10:56 PM) Eric: i meant whatever word points to that incredibly powerful emotion
(6:11:00 PM) Eric: not the little joking stuff :P
(6:11:04 PM) Sakura: then no
(6:11:15 PM) Eric: ahhh i see.
(6:11:32 PM) Eric: maybe we are soulmates.....and youre just not ready for that yet XD sounds logical to me :P
(6:11:41 PM) Eric: hell, _I_ am probably not ready for it
(6:11:55 PM) Sakura: yup... so we both have some growing up and thinking to do...
(6:12:31 PM) Eric: yep. so ok, one of my last questions....maybe THE last, i dunno........how likely do you think it is that we're soulmates? Just curious here
(6:13:09 PM) Sakura: quite likely.... around 30 - 40 % ???
(6:13:36 PM) Sakura: you?
(6:13:54 PM) Eric: I....honestly never put numbers to it....because I didn't want to get my hopes up ;P
(6:14:01 PM) Eric: but id probably say around the same
(6:14:06 PM) Sakura: ^^
(6:14:18 PM) Eric: so if thats true.....then damn, its pretty likely that we'll be together at some point XD
(6:14:33 PM) Sakura: don't scare me now... I'm not ready for that...
(6:14:54 PM) Eric: did I say be together? I meant be together as in exist in the same room *shifty eyes*
(6:15:03 PM) Sakura: lol...
(6:15:21 PM) Sakura: please do tell your mom that I'm really sorry for what I did and I hope that she can forgive what i did to you...
(6:15:39 PM) Eric: ok
(6:15:58 PM) Sakura: cause you never know next time we meet might be there in Texas and she'll just start screaming bloody murder and pull a gun and shoot me....
(6:16:06 PM) Sakura: I'm not ready to die yet
(6:16:07 PM) Eric: LOL
(6:16:32 PM) Eric: i assume the next time we meet will be you emailing me hopefully no more than 2-3 months from now XD
(6:16:44 PM) Sakura: we'll see ^^
(6:16:48 PM) Eric: i know. ;P
(6:17:30 PM) Eric: so....would you mind too terribly if i emailed you random questions / venting during the....erm grieving process or....would you rather just cut it out completely?
(6:18:00 PM) Sakura: you can email but don't expect a reply....
(6:18:27 PM) Sakura: you see it doesn't really help the cause... IMO
(6:18:39 PM) Eric: yeah. that was basically my question :P
(6:18:53 PM) Eric: this still seems nuts to me, you realize this right?
(6:18:58 PM) Sakura: yes
(6:19:21 PM) Eric: its weird....sometimes i completly understand....and other times it makes no sense
(6:20:09 PM) Eric: i guess ill have to find my own way to describe it in my head. but yeah, mom was going on about how i cant let you do this to me and how no girl is worth this and all....and im just like..............well, this is only a temporary thing....who's to say she's not worth it? :S
(6:20:43 PM) Eric: that was back when i was going completely nuts....see, she gave me a pill....half a tranquilizer.....and that probably sent me lower than i needed to go
(6:20:55 PM) Sakura: :O
(6:21:43 PM) Eric: yeah. so i think part of my problem NOW is the freaking pill's fault
(6:21:51 PM) Eric: see if i take those stupid things again -_-
(6:22:01 PM) Eric: it would work if i was in my really pissed mood.......but yeah
(6:22:05 PM) Sakura: it'll wear out....
(6:22:09 PM) Eric: yeah it will
(6:22:16 PM) Sakura: don't take anymore
(6:22:20 PM) Eric: oh....i meant to ask you......about your friends
(6:22:21 PM) Sakura: it might drive you crazy
(6:22:23 PM) Eric: jam and aubs
(6:22:33 PM) Eric: am i supposed to cut contact with them or not or what?
(6:22:39 PM) Sakura: your choice...
(6:22:47 PM) Sakura: I don't mind if you keep contact with them...
(6:23:04 PM) Sakura: it might or it might not help
(6:23:07 PM) Eric: yeah. and that would provide an easy medium for getting back together when the time comes XD
(6:23:15 PM) Eric: yeah. thats my thing - will it help or wont it?
(6:23:22 PM) Sakura: I don't know either...
(6:23:34 PM) Eric: i mean, i harbor no ill feelings toward jam whatsoever, even though she was basically against my side
(6:23:46 PM) Eric: course aubrey is always the more available anyway
(6:24:11 PM) Eric: i think.....it would be ok as long as we avoid the topic of you......which would be like impossible i think.....
(6:25:15 PM) Eric: because....it's driving me nuts....it's like i want to forget you (don't misunderstand - i NEVER EVER want to REALLY forget you...I mean as in not think about you constantly)......but I want to remember you too
(6:25:31 PM) Eric: I kinda wish you had sent me SOMETHING to remember you by XD
(6:25:42 PM) Sakura: you might get something for your birthday ^^
(6:25:46 PM) Eric: that's why ive kinda always wanted like a solid, permanent object from you :P
(6:25:53 PM) Sakura: I have to return the favor anyway.... XD
(6:26:17 PM) Sakura: of course that's unless your mom receives it and burns it before you get it
(6:26:37 PM) Eric: haha yeah. i honestly hope those years turn into months instead, but well :S
(6:27:12 PM) Eric: being in only minimal contact for years is an annoying thought at this point :S
(6:27:30 PM) Eric: then again, I have a feeling........you're not gonna stick to the plan really.......the plan will change, ne?
(6:27:42 PM) Sakura: I don't know...
(6:27:48 PM) Sakura: I honestly don't...
(6:27:55 PM) Sakura: maybe...
(6:28:06 PM) Eric: this is one time where id rather have an "I don't know" than a "no the plan wont change" XD
(6:28:28 PM) Eric: because the plan....is long and annoying.....and to me, theres like nowhere to go but up
(6:28:34 PM) Eric: so dont know > years
(6:28:35 PM) Eric: XD
(6:29:46 PM) Eric: but yeah. so....i guess the only thing that's left (and I'm sure I'll have more questions later - I guess they'll just go unanswered :S).....is how to say goodbye
[Disconnected]
(6:35:46 PM) Eric: test
(6:35:53 PM) Sakura: yes?
(6:36:04 PM) Eric: sorry....internet went nuts at the worst possible moment
(6:36:13 PM) Eric: lst thing i saw was "maybe...."
(6:36:19 PM) Eric: whats the last thing you saw?
(6:36:34 PM) Sakura: so dont know > years
(6:36:38 PM) Eric: XD
(6:37:14 PM) Eric: but yeah. so...i guess the only thing that's left (and I'm sure I'll have more questions later - I guess they'll just go unanswered :S)......is how to say goodbye
(6:37:40 PM) Sakura: it's just a see you later ^^
(6:37:58 PM) Eric: we say that like when we're gonna be gone for like a few hours XD
(6:38:34 PM) Sakura: few hours can turn into few days into few weeks into few months into few years just as easy
(6:38:55 PM) Eric: Oh, and I apologize if any of my friends try to talk to you - John or Elisabeth particularly....because yeah, I was really badly hurting and I just wanted someone to talk to you
(6:39:03 PM) Eric: and im gonna miss talking to you like crazy for a bit
(6:39:17 PM) Sakura: it's gonna be the same here ^^
(6:40:38 PM) Eric: yeah. just....remember that I'm ALWAYS here for you. if you need me, you call me. nothing has changed in that respect as far as i know. the love/bond/friendship can be reactivated or called upon at any time if the need arises eh?
(6:41:02 PM) Sakura: ^^
(6:41:18 PM) Eric: you feel the same way or no?
(6:41:34 PM) Sakura: same way
(6:42:04 PM) Eric: ok good. just wanna be completely on the same page.....well, as much as we can be anyway. man, i really wish this hadn't needed to happen.....sigh
(6:42:20 PM) Sakura: it'll get better.... I promise..
(6:43:03 PM) Eric: yeah. it will. i mean, the way i see it - the very root of the problem here is what....that youre too young? XD
(6:43:28 PM) Sakura: something like that
(6:43:54 PM) Eric: yeah lol. so....one little thing............do you have any tips for trying to read these books without thinking about you? :S
(6:44:12 PM) Sakura: don't think about me... I guess....
(6:44:28 PM) Eric: ROFL....topping the list of obvious advice......
(6:44:29 PM) Eric: XD
(6:44:58 PM) Eric: so....will you have any problems....like when you look at your cell phone charm, or the other things ive sent you....will it bother you at all.....will it make you think about me?
(6:45:27 PM) Sakura: oh believe me if it's not the charms then my iPod will do the trick...
(6:45:34 PM) Sakura: the iPOd and the songs in it....
(6:46:05 PM) Eric: yeah. i just....i just like to know that you're in about the same predicament that I am....makes me feel like.....like we're on the same page, like we feel the same way, etc
(6:46:39 PM) Sakura: ^^
(6:46:51 PM) Eric: and mom says "Eric, you can't let this consume your life"......does she not realize that it basically WILL for a couple days? :S
(6:47:07 PM) Eric: well, aubrey certainly isn't hurt -_-
(6:47:17 PM) Sakura: huh?
(6:47:26 PM) Eric: ok, so.....did your new friends know how close we were....like will they miss me at all?
(6:47:32 PM) Eric: oh, aubrey's yahoo status
(6:47:34 PM) Sakura: no....
(6:47:38 PM) Eric: ahh i see
(6:47:51 PM) Eric: THAT is one answer i dont especially like thats not that big of a deal :P
(6:48:09 PM) Eric: oh, and you still have that poem i wrote you too......that would probably make you cry :S
(6:48:34 PM) Sakura: lol... you really want me to breakdown and cry don't you???
(6:48:52 PM) Sakura: don't worry as soon as this conversation is over give me a few minutes and I will
(6:49:13 PM) Eric: lol....yes and no XD I don't ever want to you to be in pain....but, since I'm in pain....it's nice to know I have company I guess?
(6:49:25 PM) Sakura: misery loves company as they say
(6:49:30 PM) Eric: yeah
(6:49:45 PM) Eric: and lets face it, this wouldnt bother either of us at all if we didnt care very very deeply for each other :S
(6:49:55 PM) Sakura: ^^ exactly
(6:50:18 PM) Eric: but we're still gonna feel that way even when we're not talking right?
(6:51:10 PM) Sakura: yup....
(6:51:40 PM) Eric: and thats never going to end.......is it? I just realized that
(6:51:47 PM) Sakura: what is?
(6:51:58 PM) Eric: the caring, the loving, the bond
(6:52:37 PM) Sakura: yeah... I don't think it's going to end... even if we tried....
(6:52:42 PM) Sakura: one of us will still care
(6:52:53 PM) Eric: one? :O
(6:53:12 PM) Sakura: one will still care hence will pull the other one to care as well :P
(6:53:18 PM) Eric: ahh
(6:53:54 PM) Eric: so basically....what we've done here is create a bond that will last forever. that's something, Rai. and to my knowledge these things happen what....once in a lifetime?
(6:54:03 PM) Eric: not trying to make you feel bad, just pointing it out XD
(6:54:14 PM) Sakura: ^^
(6:54:22 PM) Eric: you agree then i assume?
(6:54:37 PM) Sakura: yup...
(6:55:08 PM) Eric: yeah. i know im gonna end up with more questions and such later.......i guess........theyll just go unanswered? :S
(6:55:42 PM) Sakura: I guess....
(6:55:51 PM) Sakura: I'm sorry
(6:56:15 PM) Eric: so basically, it's speak now or forever (well, for months or more) hold your peace XD
(6:56:29 PM) Sakura: yes XD
(6:57:01 PM) Eric: if you were the swearing type......would you swear to me that youve told me the complete truth today and nothing but it?
(6:57:25 PM) Eric: dont want you having buttered something up just to make me feel better ;P
(6:57:39 PM) Sakura: I swear ^^
(6:58:15 PM) Eric: alright then. and I as well....although if youve noticed this seems to be one sided....I guess because all my emotions are on my sleeve and I have to ask about your's :P
(6:58:33 PM) Sakura: :)
(6:59:03 PM) Eric: wow....a lot of firsts in our lives have happened with each other
(6:59:14 PM) Eric: and im sure some of them will be unique to us forever
(6:59:19 PM) Sakura: yup.... definitely
(7:00:00 PM) Eric: and thats comforting.....knowing that we share something that nobody else shares
(7:00:30 PM) Eric: its....a nice thought and all.....you know, like i said before i LOVE anything thats specific to us that you dont do with other people, or tell other people, etc :P
(7:00:37 PM) Eric: im kinda....possessive like that?
(7:00:44 PM) Eric: i dunno what the word is but you know what i mean
(7:00:47 PM) Sakura: ^^
(7:01:17 PM) Eric: oh oh oh....i was gonna say goodbye now, but something else just came up
(7:01:34 PM) Eric: IM, Skype, Friendster, etc....will you delete me from them or what?
(7:01:34 PM) Eric: XD
(7:02:24 PM) Sakura: you're block on skype though not deleted.... you're still on friendster and will stay there... I'm not sure on yahoo...
(7:02:50 PM) Eric: oh wow...you dont have to BLOCK me....you can just delete me....that's what I'm doing to you :P
(7:03:23 PM) Eric: but ill probably do it on friendster too tbh....otherwise every time you update something youll bump to the top of the list and stuff and yeah XD
(7:03:57 PM) Sakura: ah... then I'll do the same...
(7:04:08 PM) Eric: yeah, see...i dont want to know WHEN youre on....i dont want to see your name if i cant talk to you XD
(7:04:13 PM) Eric: lol you dont have to, its up to you :P
(7:04:22 PM) Sakura: I know but it's gonna help me as well ^^
(7:04:27 PM) Eric: ahh yeah
(7:05:00 PM) Sakura: ^^
(7:05:25 PM) Eric: anything else I can do to help you? Since you've been so awesome about answering every little insignificant questions of mine, even down to your bra size? XD
(7:05:51 PM) Eric: (which btw, i wont tell anyone what it IS.....but i might tell people that i KNOW what it is....unless you dont want me to :P)
(7:05:55 PM) Sakura: no I'm fine ^^ you're hurting more than I am....
(7:06:13 PM) Sakura: hahaha... I don't mind
(7:06:21 PM) Eric: lol ok
(7:06:53 PM) Eric: i intend to pretty much paste these logs in my blog and give the link to people. if you dont want me to, say so :P
(7:07:15 PM) Sakura: no I might do the same for Aubrey and Jam...
(7:07:22 PM) Sakura: so it's fine
(7:07:24 PM) Eric: oh ok, yeah
(7:07:32 PM) Eric: oh....one confession to make
(7:07:44 PM) Eric: i do paste a lot of your logs to people sometimes
(7:07:56 PM) Eric: if theres anything i think you wouldnt want known though, i censor it
(7:08:04 PM) Sakura: ^^
(7:08:50 PM) Eric: damn it, i hate to say goodbye because I know once I do I won't see you for the longest time :(
(7:09:04 PM) Sakura: we have to at one point....
(7:09:18 PM) Sakura: are you feeling the least bit better??
(7:09:31 PM) Eric: oh, I'm not feeling too bad...AT THE MOMENT
(7:09:52 PM) Eric: no clue how I'll feel once it's done though.....could be anywhere from shittier than ever to pretty normal :S
(7:10:05 PM) Sakura: I'm hoping for the latter
(7:10:35 PM) Eric: Me too. I mean, we've been focusing on my pain....but I don't like your's either you know...the bond transfers pain too I think :P
(7:10:39 PM) Eric: and thoughts occasionally XD
(7:10:47 PM) Sakura: lol
(7:11:07 PM) Eric: I mean honestly....if I were in no pain whatsoever....would this even bother you?
(7:11:22 PM) Sakura: it would...
(7:11:28 PM) Eric: NEARLY as bad?
(7:11:44 PM) Sakura: I'm not sure....
(7:12:01 PM) Eric: oh I see
(7:12:11 PM) Sakura: you won't be hurting but I would still feel that missing piece in my heart....
(7:12:24 PM) Eric: awwwwww that's so sweet ^^
(7:12:52 PM) Eric: just....always remember.....you can pick that piece up and put it back whenever you want
(7:13:23 PM) Sakura: that piece was given to you....
(7:13:27 PM) Sakura: it's not on the floor...
(7:13:47 PM) Eric: ...
(7:13:57 PM) Eric: I....have no words to describe how sweet and touching that is
(7:14:36 PM) Eric: especially coming from you, knowing you dont like to talk about this stuff
(7:14:42 PM) Sakura: :)
(7:15:02 PM) Eric: and of course, youll guard the piece of my heart that you possess as well i assume? ;P
(7:15:11 PM) Sakura: with my life...
(7:15:39 PM) Eric: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
(7:16:00 PM) Eric: my only wish i suppose would be that you could be sweet like that more often :)
(7:16:14 PM) Sakura: don't bet on it....
(7:16:32 PM) Sakura: it's hard for me to do these things...
(7:17:00 PM) Eric: yeah i know. which kind of begs the question....why are you doing it now? I mean, I love it...I think it's helping a lot....but why? :P
(7:17:13 PM) Sakura: dunno... it just came out....
(7:17:35 PM) Eric: wow. i think that soulmate chance just increased a bit XD
(7:17:48 PM) Sakura: lol
(7:18:09 PM) Eric: no, it's really odd....because as sweet as I can be....I don't feel comes even close to what you just sad
(7:18:11 PM) Eric: said*
(7:18:24 PM) Sakura: lol
(7:18:43 PM) Sakura: I guess my body knows when the right time to say those kind of words is
(7:18:59 PM) Eric: There's a Twilight reference in there with the pieces of hearts.....but I don't recall it
(7:19:20 PM) Sakura: it's in the back of my iPod... but here's the whole qoute
(7:19:59 PM) Sakura: I'll be back so soon, you won't have time to miss me.... Look after my heart, I've left it with you....
(7:20:09 PM) Eric: ahh yes that's the one
(7:20:16 PM) Sakura: edward left that note to Bella...
(7:20:23 PM) Sakura: but it applies to us as well I guess
(7:20:24 PM) Eric: I think it's very very fitting in this case.
(7:20:59 PM) Eric: ok, i think the time has come.....unfortunately
(7:21:10 PM) Eric: for me to make my semi-long goodbye speech
(7:21:18 PM) Sakura: not yet... but I've left a pice of mine with you for when we meet again...
(7:21:23 PM) Sakura: piece*
(7:21:29 PM) Eric: hmm?
(7:21:38 PM) Eric: what was that?
(7:21:52 PM) Sakura: nothing... I misinterpreted something... it's fine ^^
(7:21:55 PM) Eric: lol ok
(7:23:59 PM) Sakura: are you crying again?
(7:24:18 PM) Eric: a bit....but all happy tears :P
(7:24:35 PM) Sakura: sorry... I just had this vision of you crying...
(7:24:40 PM) Eric: lol it's fine
(7:25:00 PM) Eric: but yeah, when you were being sweet just now....you were being honest/serious....not just trying to make me feel better, right? XD
(7:25:08 PM) Sakura: yup...
(7:25:39 PM) Eric: ok. good. sorry.....mxiia was being like "because she feels sorry or because she means it?" and im like, well....im sure she means it, but ill ask anyway
(7:25:52 PM) Sakura: ah
(7:26:40 PM) Eric: So yeah....let's start with....I love you and you will always have a place in my heart. I enjoyed all our times together more than you can know, and am very saddened that it is ending. But, I know that our bond is strong and that we will meet again and the relationship will be restored. In the meantime, I wish nothing but happiness for you. Be happy. Look after that heart piece Rai....I'm counting on you. Until next time. And....I love you...more than you can know
(7:28:50 PM) Sakura: same here... I want you to be happy... after today, I hope that you won't cry anymore... I've left that a piece of my heart with you as well... keep it until we meet again... I'll take care of yours if you will take care of mine... I love you too...
(7:29:43 PM) Eric: I will guard it with my life...and try my best not to cry unless it's HAPPY tears or a movie/anime/etc ^^ *huggle snuggle*
(7:29:56 PM) Sakura: with my life...
(7:30:02 PM) ***Sakura huggles Eric
posted by Athenon @ 10:59 PM
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